Blindness, insanity and infertility. These are not consequences of masturbation. In the past, myths about the effects of masturbation were propagated as a form of religious and social control. Whilst most of these myths are no longer medically accepted, the taboo and shame remains. One that perseveres is the idea that masturbation is a selfish endeavour, and will lead to a breakdown in intimacy. A degree of self-reflection is required. Is masturbation becoming a regular replacement for sex with your partner? When masturbation or solo sexual activity has replaced partnered sex or obliterated your need for partnered sex, this needs to be addressed.

However, masturbation is an important part of sexual wellness and there’s no reason why it cannot occur within a healthy relationship. However, just as you need time to yourself to pursue your own interests and relationships, so too do you need time to explore and satisfy your sexual needs. Ask yourself how you feel about masturbating, or your partner masturbating. What are your fears? Some people worry that their partner will be fantasizing about others, and this can lead to a sense of betrayal.

Masturbation can be beneficial. Other than boosting sexual satisfaction, masturbation allows us to explore our bodies and learn what we find pleasurable. We cannot expect a partner to know what we like if we don’t learn for ourselves.  It also makes us more comfortable and confident with our bodies, making us feel less inhibited during partnered sex. It can be used when one or either partner has physical issues, such as poor mobility, or pain. Masturbation can be used to address a difference in sexual desire, without leading to conflict or one party feeling they have to have sex more often, and the other feeling frustrated. 

Couples can also consider mutual masturbation, which in itself can be a bonding experience. In fact, many people consider the idea of their partner masturbating as a turn-on.